We love putting people in boxes with neat little labels defined by age old archetypes with cookie cutter edges. It gives us a sense of familiarity, the act of sorting them out in categories that we know how to work with. But people are bodies of water. They can be ponds with water lilies and frogs or rivers constantly in a state of flux or oceans with undefined depths. These boxes with the labels are just how we perceive them and with time and new beginnings the boxes may float away to reveal something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue in different layers as we go into the depths beneath the surface. Something old is the traits we commonly know about because people are shaped by the environment they grow up in; we like what’s “popular” and we hate what’s “boring”. Something new is the way we adapt to change because change is something none of us can escape. Something borrowed is the small little actions and habits we see in loved ones, friends and strangers that fascinate us so we add them to our own treasure trove of ‘things to love’ like songs and meals and rituals and memories. Something blue is the remnants of the people we used to be and the people we used to be with and the nostalgia of it all which is renewed with each new season of change. But the base line of it all is that people are full of boxes of the past, present and future. The more time we spend together the more boxes we end up opening. Some boxes overflow, some are half empty, some are half full, some disappear over time and some fill up when they spend more time with you. If only we could see them as full of presents rather than the boring old theory of stereotypes maybe we would find out a lot more about each other a lot sooner than we do now. So we rush from one person to another with what little we know of them and assume their entire personality based on that cover page and the 4-line synopsis that were told about.
But the point isn’t to accuse anyone of stereotyping and judging other people because that’s exactly how our minds work and that’s exactly how we get to know each other — by claiming labels and defining traits. Rather the point is that there needs to be a blank space next to the label. A small little space that could be an open door to a world of possibilities. For change, for growth, for secrets of the past and for new experiences of the future. Because outgrowing labels is something we do every single day. Even if we don’t its nice to be open to the concept of breaking the bounds in which we hold ourselves. To think outside the box; to let ourselves out of the box we’ve been led to. To step outside the box we’ve been trapped in, to not be bound to a single idea all our lives; to embrace the magic of being open minded. The more you know, the more you grow.
The harsh truth that we all had to accept with growing up; or in some cases the soft pillowy comfort; is that our inner circle of friends and close ones will keep changing throughout life. Undoubtedly, who we are as people changes too. The same goes for everyone else around us. And although this is something we already know sometimes we forget that other people are people too with good days and bad days and everything in between. The walls of empathy and kindness stay as rigid or as flexible as our perception of those around us. In this world full of stereotypes and labels, try to hold space for something more than the predictable outcome, something beyond the usual ending, maybe that way it would be a tad bit easier to follow your dreams.
